What do you have for us?

Right now I feel like am looking at a picture and that picture is supposed to be our future and next steps for our family. The only problem is the picture is so blurry and feels like it's ever changing. I feel torn in so many directions and am praying for some clear answers.

I am very much having an aching to be a stay at home mom. Like today Jack has a fever and just wanted me to hold him. I get stressed when I want to be with him but know that I have to iron my scrubs and get dressed, pack his diaper bag, load our stuff, and take my son to someone else so they can hold him. It breaks my heart. I got pregnant and wanted him so I can raise him, not anyone else. I am so grateful for the fact that Colin's grandmother (Nanie) watches him for me. She showers him with love and I know he is safe with her. It's still hard though.

iY has my heart and always will. I am so excited about a new series we are starting called "iY Get's Real!", we are essentially mirroring our church's equip classes. It's a time where we focus on a couple topics and let the students pick where they want to go. This semester the topics are:
1.) How to have a healthy relationship, if you decide to date.
2.) How to handle having a rough relationship with mom or dad
3.) How to actually have a relationship with God
4.) How to be beautiful inside and out
I am really hoping our girls are going to pick what they want and not what their friends are doing. I am hoping to see some awesome change and opening up of the girls.

I guess right now my husband, son, and I will be leaning on the Lord for direction and grace. We have relied on that for years and been completely fine.