What do you have for us?

Right now I feel like am looking at a picture and that picture is supposed to be our future and next steps for our family. The only problem is the picture is so blurry and feels like it's ever changing. I feel torn in so many directions and am praying for some clear answers.

I am very much having an aching to be a stay at home mom. Like today Jack has a fever and just wanted me to hold him. I get stressed when I want to be with him but know that I have to iron my scrubs and get dressed, pack his diaper bag, load our stuff, and take my son to someone else so they can hold him. It breaks my heart. I got pregnant and wanted him so I can raise him, not anyone else. I am so grateful for the fact that Colin's grandmother (Nanie) watches him for me. She showers him with love and I know he is safe with her. It's still hard though.

iY has my heart and always will. I am so excited about a new series we are starting called "iY Get's Real!", we are essentially mirroring our church's equip classes. It's a time where we focus on a couple topics and let the students pick where they want to go. This semester the topics are:
1.) How to have a healthy relationship, if you decide to date.
2.) How to handle having a rough relationship with mom or dad
3.) How to actually have a relationship with God
4.) How to be beautiful inside and out
I am really hoping our girls are going to pick what they want and not what their friends are doing. I am hoping to see some awesome change and opening up of the girls.

I guess right now my husband, son, and I will be leaning on the Lord for direction and grace. We have relied on that for years and been completely fine.

Jack is almost 9months old

WOW it's been forever since I put anything on here. How life has changed in the last 8-9 months. We bought a new house, moved out of our rent house and into Colin's moms house, then moved into our new home, helped be apart of and plan Jordan's wedding, and now are starting to settle down and enjoy life. Here are a few updates on Jack:

Our big boy loves his bath time. He loves playing with his rubber duckies and when mom washes his hair!

He loves to be tickled and laughing. His giggle melts my heart. I want to bottle it up and let it out when I am having a rough day. It's this deep belly giggle, oh man just talking about it makes me want to hear it again.

Jack is getting so big I can't believe it. Yesterday it felt like I was holding him and wondering when he would learn to smile in response to something and not just gas, hehe. As you can see he can smile just fine now!

I have multiple times a day where I can barely comprehend how blessed I am. I have a husband who would do anything for me and is an amazing man of God, a son who makes everyday worth living and brightens my days, a great job, a beautiful house, and great friends. I never could imagine God blessing me so much.

We are loving our new home and starting to feel like it is our own, after months of being busy, painting, cleaning, and unpacking we are truly enjoying it. We have our first project's to work on, some neighborhood kid broke the pretty lamp in our frontyard and "mysteriously" (assuming same neighborhood kid) Jack's bedroom window got broken. Thankfully it was the outer layer and now we just have to figure out who we want to replace it. Our pool is great! A lot of work but we like it. Currently it the color of a Florida swamp hehe, we need to get some shock and get it back on track. We are planning redoing both bathrooms and putting a cover over the front porch in the next year. But for now we are in love with our home!

This next season of Holidays are sure to bring some smiles with so many firsts being experienced!